You will not be able to discover it from your sofa, brother.
You will not be able to sit there under the cat, sister,
remote control in one hand, phone in the other,
and put the kettle on during the ad breaks,

because my resolution will not be televised.
My resolution will not be tweeted.
My resolution will not be announced on Twitter.com
in 280 characters of self-promoting concision
to be retweeted by Ricky Gervais in between posts
deploring acts of animal cruelty and the release date of his latest film.
My resolution will not be tweeted.

My resolution will not be televised.
My resolution will not be Facebooked.
My resolution will not feature next to an inspirational quote
set against the backdrop of a soaring mountain or a looking-glass lake.
My resolution will not be posted beside a shining infographic
illustrating how many kilos I have lost, how many pennies
I have saved, how many drinks I have not drunk.
My resolution will not be Facebooked.
My resolution will not be tweeted.

My resolution will not be televised.
There will be no pictures on Instagram
of kale soup and black bean-quinoa salad.
There will be no pictures on Instagram
of NutriBullet breakfast smoothies.
My resolution will not be vlogged.
My progress will not be revealed to you in a twenty-minute daily video diary.
My resolution will not be right back after a message

about my new range of eyebrow pencils.
My resolution will not be vlogged.
There will be no pictures on Instagram.
My resolution will not be Facebooked.
My resolution will not be tweeted.

My resolution will not be televised.
My resolution will not survive more than two days.
My resolution will not be televised.